Zero. Pain, light, confused, ignorant, blissful, happy, deathly, confused, sad, happy, sad, happy, happy, lonely, ignorant, friend, happy, mediocre, lonely, arrogant, mediocre, lonely, friends, happy, lonely, dead, lonely, lonely, ignorant, lonely, mediocre, mediocre, aimless, stupid, confused, still dead, hopeless, wishful, hopeless, mediocre, stupid, pain. One.
The above was not the story of my life. That was one minute. This one is:
I make a terrible first impression. My appearance is often untidy and disheveled, I dress tastelessly, and I’m uncomfortable and out of my element in most social occasions. So, I have no hope of impressing anyone within the first two minutes.
For the next 118 minutes, if the “anyone” happens to be interested in a subject that I have read a Wikipedia article about at a time close to the encounter, I may be able to impress upon them my fluency in some geeky and usually absolutely mundane and useless niché of a topic. So, it sometimes works out in two hours.
On the course of the next (approximately) two weeks, and usually way before that, the person will notice that I’m not that deeply knowledgeable after all, and therefore, the minuscule interestingness of my character will disappear and so will the relationship. If that doesn’t do the trick, my severe negligence of personal hygiene will. So that’s your two-week milestone.
If they have a heart of gold (the personality trait, not the spaceship - although it would be cool to know someone with an actual Heart of Gold!) they might stick around, for 6 more weeks of torture by bad breath and uncomfortable social occasions, and they may see a kind and sad slob, trying way too hard. Then we might become friends, after two months.
For close to two years, my friend will see so much dishonesty, abuse, cheating, laziness, weirdness and unpunctuality that he/she would start cutting off the unstable bond. Two years. *gong* (or *whistle*!)
So, think about were you are! Think before thinking otherwise.
