The Easy Way

Life becomes so full of misery sometimes. There are always more miserable people than I, and the are always bigger problems than mine, but maybe those people have more tolerance, or those problems are faced by people far braver and more able that I am. And of course, misery is such a local feeling in time, that my misery of today will look like a child scraping his knee tomorrow.
I feel like the whole content of the world have turned into crap and it’s raining down on me. It’s all my own doing. There is no one else to blame. I wish there was. I wish there was a God, that I could point to and accusingly ask back my destiny. A God that I could shout and scream at like madmen, and break my teeth off and throw at Him to get his attention and maybe get back my life; or get back all our lives. Maybe I could tear off my rib cage with my hands and a short screw-driver with green handle and use the rib bones as knives and shanks to intimidate Him.
I was sitting in a plane today, and I was hating all those around me, because statistically, all of them were stronger than me and more able to deal with their problems (last time I checked, any absolute value was statistically greater than 0.)
While Pink Floyd were performing “Sorrow”, I was hoping that the airplane would crash, and only one person would die in the crash and the ensuing explosion and fire, and that one person would be me, because I was wishing that the airplane would crash, and everyone in it would die, and the charred bodies would be so damaged and mangled that no one would be able to see that the passenger in the seat 27D was having a big smile on his face, in spite of his head being almost completely severed from his body and only hanging from a thread of sinew, and his whole body fat and skin being melted into the seat in the fires and explosions.

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